'Heroin' by Jessie Murph - Lyrics & Meaning

After revealing the tracklist in to her new album, Sex Hysteria, in a creative post to her social media on 25 June, Jessie Murph wasted no time in releasing the next single from the album, due out on 18 July.

'Heroin,' track seven on the album, is the follow up to 'Touch Me Like A Gangster,' as Murph continues to blend and bend genres on the new song.

After releasing the full-length mixtape drowning tin 2023, Jessie Murph began to fuse country and Southern roots more freely into her production in countrified trap sound of ‘Cowboys and Angels’ and with high profile crossover collaborations with Jelly Roll on 'Wild Ones,' Maren Morris on 'Texas,' Koe Wetzel on 'High Road' and Bailey Zimmerman on 'Someone In This Room.'

“I’ve been wanting to incorporate country into what I do for a while because I grew up on it,” she explained about her debut, That Ain't No Man That's The Devil, in 2024. “Now that I’m connecting with my inner child and starting to heal a lot of the painful aspects of my life during that time, I’ve stepped into it more. It’s part of me and where I’m from, so I chose to be in touch with it. I just went back to my roots, while keeping it me.”

'Heroin' follow up first single, 'Gucci Mane,' and the viral hit 'Blue Strips' as she continues to perfect her gangsta country style.

After the more pop R&B sound of 'Blue Strips' and 'Touch Me Like A Gangster,' 'Heroin' is more in line with the brooding Southern gothic of 'Gucci Mane.' With a lush, sweeping string bed and a gospel choir backing up Murph's gritty Alabama twang, the powerful ballad almost sounds like a Streisand showtune in places as it builds towards a harmony soaked, Sunday morning spiritual.

I’m doing 90 in a Porsche headed straight to you

Speed limits in America vary between states, but in most cases, driving at 90 miles per hour will be a violation of traffic laws. While the highest speed limit on some rural interstates can be 75 or even 85 mph, the vast majority of roads have lower speed limits, and going 90 mph would exceed those limits significantly. In Alabama, where Jessie Murph is from, 70 mph is the most common speed limits on interstates so driving 90 mph on an interstate would be 20 mph over the limit.

Jessie uses the idea of breaking the law and driving over the speed limit in a luxury car to suggest that she would do anything to get to this person. Although often more dedicated to sports driving, a Porsche is still widely considered a luxury car brand and a fast one at that.

It’s been a long long day and you know what to do
You wrap me up and hold me tight don’t let me loose

Jessie explains that it has felt like a "long long day" to her. While a standard day is defined as 24 hours, the actual length of a day varies slightly due to Earth's elliptical orbit and axial tilt. Additionally, a day can often "feel" longer to someone if it has been unusually busy or stressful. She is looking forward to seeing whoever she is driving towards because she knows they will care for her and comfort her after a stressful day.

Mmm

This soft humming sound suggests Jessie is looking forward to feeling satisfied and relaxed once she arrives. "Mmm" usually denotes satisfaction or enjoyment, particularly when related to food or a sexual experience.

There’s a violence in the way I long for you
And it’s a war the way you love me like you do
I can’t stop and I can’t run and I can’t choose

Although it is dysfunctional and potentially damaging for a person to love someone in a violent way as Jessie describes the way she longs for this person, she is probably suggesting that she is obsessive and possibly codependent on them, as opposed to being actually physically violent with them or herself. She is suggesting she loses herself with the force and energy that she commits to the relationship, neglecting personal needs and mental health.

She suggests that the relationship is turbulent like a war and that she has little or no control over her own emotions with regards to it.

I can’t seem to stay away
I love you more than most these days
Like heroin, it broke my baby blues

Jessie has been prioritising this relationship over others in her life and she is unable to keep healthy boundaries. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for protecting your well-being and having more respectful relationships. Knowing and asserting your boundaries can lead to a greater sense of self-respect and empowerment. It involves establishing limits on what you're comfortable with and communicating those limits to others, allowing you to prioritize your needs and maintain a sense of self. If Jessie "can't seem to stay away" as she suggests, then it is unlikely she has been setting healthy boundaries in this relationship.

She likens her feelings in this relationship to the addictive nature of the drug heroin, but it is only used as a metaphor in the song and does not explicitly refer to any actual use of the drug by Jessie Murph.

Once heroin enters the brain, it is converted to morphine and binds rapidly to opioid receptors. People who use heroin typically report a warm flushing of the skin or a surge of pleasurable sensation. Although some of the immediate effects of heroin include feelings of well being and relief from physical pain, it is a depressant drug and slows down certain functions of a person’s brain and nervous system. It highly addictive and dangerous because a person’s body adapts to regular heroin use and becomes dependent on the drug to function ‘normally’.

Although the phrase "baby blues" usually refers to the usually temporary feelings of sadness, anxiety and mood swings that many women experience in the first week or two after giving birth, Jessie is possibly using the phrase to refer to feelings of depression and anxiety that she felt when she was younger.

You look at me I look at you
You kill me slow
I get you through
Like heroin, I’ll always come back to you
Like heroin
I’ll always come back to you

Overdosing is a very common condition among heroin users, and again Jessie relates her experiences with this person to the addictive nature of the drug.

I wake up with you a little less alive
When I go to leave you pull me back inside

After the initial "rush" that users get from taking heroin, they will usually be drowsy for several hours. Their mental functions will be clouded, and their heart function slows. Often breathing is also severely slowed, sometimes enough to be life-threatening.

You take me by the hand and dance me round the room

Jessie describes how she is not in control in this relationship but likens it to being led in a dance by a dance partner. In partner dancing, a "lead" is the role taken by one dancer who initiates and guides the movements of the dance, while the "follow" is the role of the other dancer who responds to their guidance. Jessie is the "follow" in this metaphor for her relationship, merely interpreting and executing the steps, timing and movements that the lead is choosing for her.

There’s a hitman shooting bullets at my mind
When you touch me he stops trying for a while
I can’t stop and I can’t run and I can’t hide

An actual hitman is not shooting at Jessie, but she feels like her mind is under attack in some way, probably from her own anxieties, the mental health challenges she faces or the feeling of being overwhelmed by negative thoughts. Jessie explains that she feels less anxious and her mental health improves when she is touched by this person, but she still lacks the control or the agency necessary to extricate herself from the situation if she needed to.

Ohhh
Ohhh
Come back to you
Come back to you
Ohhh
Right back to you
Ohhh

When Jessie is able to extricate herself from the possibly toxic relationship, she knows that due to the addictive power structures in the relationship she will often resume it again.

The dynamics of addictive, often toxic, relationships can manifest in various ways, such as with demand-withdrawal, distancer-pursuer dynamics or fear-shame patterns. Individuals in these relationships often experience anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

Although Jessie Murph hasn't directly spoken about the song's meaning, she did post a clip on socials that might give some indication as to the song's meaning.

"A feeling that feels like you're dying," she says in the clip. "It really feels like you're dying and that feeling is so bad that you'll do anything to not feel it, whether that means backtracking on everything you thought was right and everything you were sure of. It just feels like death, it's such a loss."

I’m doing 90 in a Porsche headed straight to you
It’s been a long long day and you know what to do
You wrap me up and hold me tight don’t let me loose
Mmm
There’s a violence in the way I long for you
And it’s a war the way you love me like you do
I can’t stop and I can’t run and I can’t choose

I can’t seem to stay away
I love you more than most these days
Like heroin, it broke my baby blues
You look at me I look at you
You kill me slow
I get you through
Like heroin, I’ll always come back to you
Like heroin
I’ll always come back to you

I wake up with you a little less alive
When I go to leave you pull me back inside
You take me by the hand and dance me round the room
Mmm
There’s a hitman shooting bullets at my mind
When you touch me he stops trying for a while
I can’t stop and I can’t run and I can’t hide

I can’t seem to stay away
I love you more than most these days
Like heroin, it broke my baby blues
You look at me I look at you
You kill me slow
I get you through
Like heroin, I’ll always come back to you
Like heroin

Ohhh
Ohhh
Come back to you
Come back to you
Ohhh
Right back to you
Ohhh

I can’t seem to stay away
I love you more than most these days
Like heroin, it broke my baby blues
You look at me I look at you
You kill me slow
I’ll get you through
Heroin, I’ll always come back to you
Like heroin
I’ll always come back to you
I’ll always come back, back to you

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For more on Jessie Murph, see below: